Just spent some time on Mom's piano finding the right melody for a song I wrote some time ago. I've had the lyrics and basic melody for two years now, but for the first time I can hear it coming to life with Mom's keys flowing ever so softly. It almost feels as if she's playing a part in me discovering who I really am today. So many pieces of the puzzle are coming back together....pieces of that shattered life I once knew. Today I stand a very different woman, someone who has had to find her way. Someone who has learned to rely on Faith alone, and to wait ever so patiently for God to speak. Someone who has learned to love with a brand new heart, learned how to forgive with a loving heart and understand with a compassionate heart. Someone who lost all and is now finding anew. Someone who is starting with nothing, but who has everything to gain.
For so long I've rejected God's vision for me simply because I did not believe I was a capable of achieving it. Through it all He has shown me that I am more than capable, and that I must first love and believe in myself before others can believe in me. I've been afraid, for 35 years I have portrayed what others expected to see of me. I tried to live a life that would leave many proud to say "that's my girl....". Though I was successful on many levels, I failed in the most important area. I did not life for who GOD intended me to be. Rather than seeking His approval, I sought approval from those around me. Through it all He has shown me that I should respect and love who I am, and who He intended me to be.......
Someone once recently posted that you will never know unless you ask......I am in search of someone (or people) willing to work with me on my musical testimony. I would love someone to help me put this to music and find the right bridge and ending to complete this song. If at all possible, I would love to be able to record this once the song is complete on either a CD or an MP3 format. I would like to eventually have a complete album of the beginning of my testimony. I have ventured through many different music crowds trying to find the right fit for my need, and so far I have come up empty. Though I can sing rock, even a few Beatles tunes.......my heart remains with Gospel music. I believe the most impact can be had if this album is created based on my Faith, and since no matter what I sing I tend to give off a Southern Gospel sound.....I believe I am meant to work on this within a Christian environment. If there are any musicians willing on partnering with me, give me a shout. I figured I would ask now so that by the time I'm ready to be able to REALLY work on it God will line up the right person for me.
When weakness comes my way,
can't face another day.
I walk this broken road,
with nothing to say.
My Mama said to me,
be who you wanna be.
Let your Soul shine endlessly,
then she fades away.
I've learned to live, protecting who I am.
I've learned to hide, who I am inside.
I'm afraid, they won't love.....
who I am today.
When darkness comes my way,
no one can hear me pray.
I walk this broken road,
with nothing to say.
My Daddy said to me,
be who you wanna be.
Live your life faithfully,
then he fades away.
I've learned to live, protecting who I am.
I've learned to hide, who I am inside.
I'm afraid, they won't love.....
who I am today.
